- Adolph's Blogspot addressDear Adolph & Carmen,Shared with All your Family Members & Global friends,All your friends on your SJCS Zanzibar website.Birthday Greetings to a Very Special friend of'The De Souza Clan' (Benny & Betty UK)Wishing you A Very Happy 80thBirthdayLove Benny, Betty & All our Family Members.As a Special Gift we enclose a Link to your Personal Blogspot featuring All your Posts to include the Wonderful Birds found in your Hometown in Perth Australia & much more to follow to soon include flowers & trees & all youand Carmen do for your home community whichcan be found on some of the blog links.
Carmen’s Speech Adolph’s 80 Birthday
When I was organising this event I asked Justin to toast his dad and I would roast him. I will try to keep it medium rare not well done because beneath the roasting is a good man.
A fact check. I have known Adolph for 58 of his 80 years of life,not all his life as he claims when he is hot and bothered about a trivial matter. Again, Adolph likes sweeping generalisations. Always - you always interrupt me and never - never allow me to do what I want. Really!
Adolph is also fond of his personal pronouns. It is my home, I am going on holiday and then selectively the use of -when are you going to clean your car. In the 53 years we have been married I have decided to pick my battles and ignore the I and my statements.
When we moved from Uganda to Nairobi in 1971, my dad gave Adolph my passport and he knew I was in safe hands. He has taken good care of me, our children and grandchildren. I recall an amusing incident that occurred at a function Adolph attended. He was totally engaged in conversation with a group of people; among them was a guy with cap and sunnies. Adolph went up to this guy and introduced himself. This guy took off his cap and sunnies, looked at Adolph and said hi dad it is me Justin. A wonderful reunion of father and son!
Many of you will know that Adolph is a keen historian and very knowledgeable; he is always ready to educate others on a particular topic... or any topic really. On our recent trip to Africa there were mandatory information sessions. I am surprised we were not asked for feedback on each day’s events. However, I do admire his desire for his family to learn about history and the places that have shaped us into who we are today.
Adolph some words of wisdom from the prophet Kahlil Gibran.
“Stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, and the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow”.
So continue to arrange the interesting outings and musical experiences you organised for the National Seniors and friends, also your contributions to the global magazines and websites. This keeps you upstairs and me down tairs.
Just as the prophet says “Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone.”
He is up with birds and off on his daily walk each morning; this is meet and greet session.
He knows the names of every dog and chats to the owners. Then the WhatsApp to his favourites. Among them is his friend in Las Vegas, she too chats with the Aussie mate. Meanwhile, I choose to do the silent walk instead. Remember the prophet? This works well!
The big event for our family a party of 12 was our trip to Arusha and Zanzibar his home town. Adolph planned for a year and got the grandchildren excited with the information he constantly forward to them. I spent the year praying for a safe journey. Who knows what he may have booked.? The Lord answered my prayer and we had a safe and wonderful experience. It gave us great joy to see the excitement on the faces of the children when they took selfies with the elephants and giraffes at the game parks, also this trip gave them an appreciation of the African people, the Masai and their way of life. We salute you Adolph for a job well done!
This celebration would not be possible without calling on friends.
Mignonne, Phillip, Daphne and Michael for arranging the caterer and providing decorations for the tables. Sharon, Lulu, Raisa, Cheryl and Julie for the birthday cake and selection of sweets. Melody as photographer and Rohan MC for this evening. Thank you.
A shout out to Fr. Pat for value adding to this parish hall and creating a wonderful entertainment centre for parishioners and friends.
As I look across the room I see my family who we love very much. We miss Charmaine, Michelle and Carys in Melbourne, who are with us in spirit.
I acknowledge all you friends who have touched us in special ways. The rosary group, church friends and some who we met through social gatherings over the 50 years we have been in Australia and our Ugandan friends who have been our companions on this journey.
I thank God for bringing you all of into our lives as we all share in the celebration of Adolph’s 80th Birthday.
Carmen.
On Saturday 2nd December 2023
Ladies and Gentleman – all my good friends. When Carmen was planning this 80th bash, she told me that in her speech she was going to roast me, and Justin was going to toast me. Only Michael my youngest grandson who would have anything nice to say about me. She said I was not going to have the right of reply. However, when she went through the program with Rohan, our Mcee, he insisted I should be given the opportunity to say a few words. Thank you, Rohan – at least she listened to you.
So early this morning I started thinking what I was going to say in reply – particularly since they all insisted that I should make it short – knowing that I like to talk and talk if given the opportunity.
Many would be wondering what is my real relationship to my family, and what is the key to becoming an octogenarian with a broad smile.
Well, we argue a lot, but nobody ever listens to me. So, when I moved into this suburb – 25 years ago I installed a statue in the garden – you know one of the Greek goddesses who graces the place where she appears. And I used to go and talk to her. She listens and never was there an argument or a reply of disapproval. Now that worked very well until in 2016 when Carmen retired from full time work and decided to take up to gardening. Now she started doing her chores in the garden every morning and so I have no opportunity to speak to Helen the Greek goddess. Then I got this idea. I got myself a fish tank – small one – which I placed in my study upstairs. Now I had a place to go to every morning and not only watch the six guppies move around; most of the time I am able to talk to them and I have not heard a bad word from them. However, from time to time they keep me busy by making me a male midwife or an accoucheur because they breed by the dozen.
We are not a demonstrative family – but like most families we are very different from each other. By now you would have confirmed in your mind what you suspected all these years you have known us. We are very different. Carmen claims she is the heart and I the head when making decisions. The problem is that no one listens to the head, and they get their way. Now a days she works in the garden for about three hours every morning and I work upstairs on my desk sorting out the bills, filing them carefully electronically, writing stories and then coming down for a short break where we meet at morning tea in the garden. Then in the afternoon Carmen comes into the house, watches daily Mass followed by an episode of Judge Judy. One thing Carmen has done for me ever since I married her. I have never ever had to go to a barber! However as Justin has implied, I used to have a large mop on my head in my younger days which made the task of cutting my hair more difficult for her. Whenever she gave me a bad cut, she always excused herself by saying “One only has two weeks to ago before all will look good again.”
Our children have watched all this when growing up. Which leads me to let you know about my children different as they are. Justin, whom you have just heard toast me, loves us in an impatient way. He takes up after me in the sense that he pursued a career in higher education administration. Except as they say in agriculture one can always improve the stock by genetic engineering. I was a stuffy bureaucrat, introvert and conservative in decision making. Justin, on the other hand, is an extrovert, entrepreneurial and good marketing person for the universities he has worked in. Charmaine who is unable to be here today, is God’s gift to us. God sent her to us to test our faith and determination never to sway from unconditionally loving our children. And when God was satisfied that we had proved ourselves, he rewarded us with a daughter who loves us to no end. She showers me with gifts. I am always receiving clothes – particularly under wear. As I jotted down these notes having woken up early this morning, I noticed my Pyjama top with the words printed “BEST DAD EVER”. And I have not had to buy any underwear as she has helped stock me and dispose old ones as soon the elastics have gone. So, she has done not only a service to me, but also to the Australia. She has helped the male underwear index up and avoided a recession in this country! But on a more serious note, Charmaine graduated as a teacher and loves her job. She has received the Victorian Education Department’s awards for her work, particularly with indigenous and disadvantaged students. Then there is Jean-Louis, my eldest son. He never troubled us when growing up, and exceled in everything he did. He is rational and soft spoken and has among other things a commitment to volunteer his professional services to disadvantaged communities in our neighbouring countries. I know he too loves us very much. I can always call on him to sort my computer problems at any time of the night and he and his children have the patience to fix the settings etc in all the high-tech gear that litters our home such a smart light, security, internet connectivity etc. They have the patience to explain things to me in a slow understandable fashion. Again, like the rest of us he is not demonstrative of his love to us. He shows this by constantly upgrading our economy flights to business or premium class and giving me the luxuries of the airport business lounges.
All of them have partners who we love like my own children. My sons and their partners have given us five gracious grandchildren – again they are all different. Mr Mcee, I will not describe each one to you as it may only lengthen this speech. Besides at as range of 17-22 years old they do not as yet had the life experiences that will shape the attitudes in the future. As you have seen in the video clips they all love me in their own way. At 80 years of age I could not ask for more.
It is fashionable for speeches these days to quote someone famous. Carmen quoted Kahil Gibran. Well, I will not disappoint you. I will quote Shakespeare, Act 1, Scene 1 from the comedy Mid Summers Night Dream where he says, “the course of love never did run smooth’. In many ways my message of “unconditional love” contradicts Shakespeare. “Unconditional love” has no boundaries . That which is the key to my family extends to you my dear friends who have been gracious enough to share this milestone celebration with me and my family. Many others, who would have liked to be here have good reasons not to come here in this post- Covid world or because of other prior commitments. Also, my many global friends come from East Africa where I came from. We still love Africa and its people. These are like me, diasporans, making new friends and giving their best to their adopted countries. A couple of them, Benito and Betty, have given me a birthday gift – a blog website where their good wishes are being recorded. This site also has some of the stories I have written about.
I arrived in this country 50 years ago. I looked like the sketch which is projected up on the screen.
I am grateful for this country to have given me this opportunity. I hope in a small way, I too can give back to the country in the remaining years ahead of me.
Thank you all and if you have a glass lets toast to you all.
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